| Long time... |
[24 May 2004|12:43pm] |
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 happy |
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It's been a long time since I've written any entries. My life has been fantastic.
Spring has arrived and my flowers are blooming. Literally and metaphorically. I'll write more next time.
I shall depart for a while from those who long to read my entries. You shall not wait long.
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| The World Goes Round and Round |
[23 Aug 2003|01:30am] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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Belle and Sebastian - Chickfactor |
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Hang out with friends today. Went to watch I Capture the Castle and Northfork. The former is a delightful romantic dramedy, with a bittersweet ending, I really liked it because it brought me back to the subject of unrequited love--a constant barrier of mine's. "Love is a murderess thing" but a "kiss can do many things." As for the latter, what can i say, absolutely gorgeous imagery and surrealistic overtones, slow for those with ADD, but truly a feast for the eyes with a big heart in the middle to provoke the nostaglic longing of the mind...I was full after watching these films in a row since I didn't have dinner. One of my friends is really annoying, she keeps on tickling me and talking to me during the castle film, because I had watched it before with my other friends, so she wants me to tell her what happen. Hello, "you are going to find out anyways" We usually talk at home during film viewings, but in the theater, I find talking and other noises to be rude (except for intended laughter and tears and such). Oh wells, she's a funny person and she was the driver, and you know the driver is the person in charge.
The next day, we went to Cabazon outlet and shop at a few stores out of the 130 they had. I got 2 jeans from Guess, and a few cute shirts from Pac Sun, in addition, to a copy of my favorite Shakespearean comedy, Merchant of Venice, I really don't see it as a comedy (more of a tragedy) except for in a few scenes, my heart goes out to Shylock everytime I read it or watch the play, he deserves to have revenge on his enemies, damn it. Also, got my dad a pair of Dockers khakis. Wanted this pretty Rampage shirt, but still too expensive price for that store (it thinks highly of itself when it shouldn't) There were many ugly clothes that weren't worth buying, i think the stores were still stuck in the summer season. I tried to buy my male friends some shirts, but everywhere there were plaids (a sea of plaids), and everyone knows (or should know) that plaids are out of season, please where are the vertical stripes or solid colors ones.
Afterwards, went to Chilis, got those famous baby back ribs and that awesome blossom (good, but so oily). I almost left my credit card in the restaurant since i forgot to take it out from the register case, but the nice waiter ran out and returned it to me while we were walking to the car...thank the gods, i gave him over 10% tip, or would he still do it?
I am still thinking of Brad sometimes, I'm beginning to notice how I just looked into empty space and ignore the world around me, I wish he wasn't as possessive as he was. Didn't really talk to him for a long time after breakup, but I truly feel lonely right now. I'm scared in pursuing any new relationships, don't want that trapped feeling, but still want comfort and love from someone and be able to return it.
My friend introduce to me this guy named Dan as a blind date potential; he was cute (had a punk/alternative looking style) but he was terribly conceited--he tried to act humble during our conversations but really wanted girls to talk about him and how he is hot. He was a gentleman however, and paid for the expensive dinner (I don't expect guys to pay, i am okay wth sharing the bill, I find gender obligations to be reinforcements of sexism and chavunism, men and women are independent these days, we don't live in the chilvarous Middle Ages anymore) but it's a kind gesture, nonetheless, a good sign that he may not be stingy (a rather bad quality and I don't mean the word thrifty) We went to a nearby park and ride on the swings, talking about our past relationships, our interests, etc. I find him rather interesting, but there was no spark and the night ended up in a lackluster climax, he drove me home and I walked into the house. totally diffferent from Brad's first date with me, he actually planted a kiss on my cheecks--oh those memories.
Again, I will quote from I Capture the Castle, "I love...I have loved...I will love..." "Oh please" says my cynical side.
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| The grass is greener on the other side. |
[15 Aug 2003|11:45am] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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I went jogging at the park this morning without my poor dog this time. I felt lonely without a companion to jog with.
The morning mist gently settled on my face, ah... what a wonderful feeling. In addition with the breeze burrowing into each and every pore on my face.
After the morning jog, I watered my plants. The rose bush I planted last month was blooming compared to the unsuccessful tulips I attempted last summer. I prefer tulips over roses. I see my neighbor's tulips in their front yard just flaunting itself in my face. The grass is always greener on the other side. It's not that I don't take care of them, but because father nature decided not to give me tulips this year.
Maybe next year, mother nature will provide me more abundantly.
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| Soul, I hear you calling! |
[14 Aug 2003|10:01am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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XTC - I'd Like That |
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I went ahead and changed the layout, added an icon, etcetera, etcetera, just so this journal will feel a little more like home. And yet it is so utterly fuchsia that it's hard to call it such. But no worries, as it is much better than the tabular thinger I had before.
My dog needs 2 surgeries, one involving a couple of bumps on her front legs that might or might not be cancerous, though the vet is positive that they are benign. The other involves the removal of several teeth. The previous estimate for both surgeries combined had been $184. When mother went to drop her off, the estimate had risen to nearly $900. Without the bump removal, it's still about $600. Now, my mother hasn't even gotten around to paying the $850 for my sister's UC Berkeley education, so it's no surprise she picked the poor thing up and stormed out of the vet office, claiming she could do the same operations herself with a paring knife.
I understand about the money thing, but the thought of amateur canine surgery turns this delicate stomach. I found an ad for pet insurance and tried to show it to her, but she remained obstinate. It was a truly heartbreaking ad too...
She'll never know you can't afford the treatment.
Insert pic of sad-looking golden retriever puppy
But you will.
My dog looks a lot like the puppy, is even in the same lying-down-with-face-tucked-between-paws position, except she's a grey schnauzer and all. It's depressing to look at.
In other news, I am addicted to the above song, have been addicted for a month, and I don't know why. It has hints of self-parody and is so utterly cute. It's from "Me, Myself, and Irene," which is a very blah movie at best, but has some damn good music.
Well, I think I've updated enough, so...Ta.
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| Title goes here |
[14 Aug 2003|12:26am] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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music |
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The New Pornographers - Ballad of a Comeback Kid |
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Unfortunately, I'm still drawn to those rating communties. I notice that the community members themselves are not quite how should i put it, "attractive" yet they can still comment on other people...absolutely ludcrious. A site made of beautiful people should have a checking system to weed out those ugly ducklings hiding under swan feathers. Can't wait for my digital camera to come in. Oh my god, there this one site called "asian cuties" and it's absolutely embarassing, this one guy was half naked and he posed with his brand new car--wrong, just wrong. Do people still have taste these days, free Martha Stewart before it's too late.
I guess i'm still trying to look for mr. right (or half right, nobody's perfect), but around my town, it's really hard, there's just not much selection, can't wait to go back to the Bay area. Been talking to this guy on the internet (obviously, not pursuing a relationship, that would be a laugh) and he seems interesting in a shallow way, I mean, he's hot, but his responses are so banal, and he's not very cultured, I supposed i should look over that, but personality is important, isn't it? or it will just become a fling. I guess watching Sex and the City has influenced my dating style to a greater extent than I thought.
Went to Six Flags today, I finally tried those new rides -- Extreme and Deja Vu, extreme was particularly scary, my whole body was resting on those security shoulder pads. Saw a few cute guys, but not as much as the last time I went, which was 1.5 years ago. Theme parks don't have much appeal for me anymore, but they still manage to innoculate life into this empty shell body. I went out with my friends, Felix and Kylie and we rode on the carousel--amazing how fun it is to just spin around in a circle on a wooden horse. I will always remember this one segment on that funny, yet repetitive show "Beyond Belief" in which a man was bitten by a snake hidden in the horse's mouth of a carousel. Afterwards, I checked the mouth everytime, this carousel had horses with close mouths...sigh.
I'm still trying to make a film for fun. I was thinking of allowing the actors to interact with the camera, like you can hear the director yelling out directions to the actors (and it's not going to be those mock documentaries or anything). The characters want themselves to become actors in their life, hence, they follow orders from the camera. The film, I guess, will be a satire, imagine a scene where a woman is sitting down near a cactus, and you can hear a voice guiding her to sit closer, just to make a certain shot, saying that the cactus represents a phallic symbol, ironically juxtaposed with her barren sexual life. Interesting, huh? is it too difficult to follow? Comment, you guys, so I can improve.
Update more later.
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| One is the Lonelinest Number |
[09 Aug 2003|06:30pm] |
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mood |
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pensive |
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music |
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Yoko Kanno - Tank! (Cowboy Bebop Theme) |
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Hi, everyone who is reading this journal, meaning my friends at least. Yeah, I was bored and decided that my life should be examined and judged by other people, so I join this "wonderful" community. Anyways, from my b-day, you can calculate my age (stimulate your brain) and I'm currently enrolled at Stanford as a soon-to-be sophomore. One year has passed and I felt somewhat accomplished and tired at the same time.
In my personal life, I dated this guy from Berkeley, but he was too possessive, so I actually avoid the whole dating scene until my tall dark handsome prince come....hahaha. I hope he's not reading this. It's fun to be single again, but I do like to snuggle with someone at night, I guess Brad wasn't all that bad.
I've been a voyeur lately and have been reading many people's journals and discover these communities that rate people's looks. I guess it can be shallow, but what is there to do when you have an empty teenage life (always needing to fill up your time with ephemeral activities like this livejournal business). Oooo, the emptiness, I love that whole postmodern idea. Sometimes, I think those communities are too low in standard (I see girls giving a yes to this really unpleasant guy), and some people should not even be posting anything at all; I suppose they just want to be embarrassed (sadistic, huh?)
So for the most part, I'm spending my time at home until school starts again. Been hanging out with my friend and improving my cooking skills. It's actually fun being a domestic kind of person. Update more later.
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